Friday, October 16, 2009

Childhood Delusions

So when you're a little kid, say.. eight or nine years old, and your main influence is the other little kids at school, you tend to believe quite a bit of stuff that's just not true. Or at least I did.

Today I was sitting at home, watching Star Wars (as per usual; my family is weirdly but pleasantly obsessed with the movies), and at the end of Episode II, when Padme and Anakin have just married and are busily making out, I realize something: I used to believe that on-screen kissing was a camera trick.

In fact, I distinctly remember some equally impressionable child telling me that the actors in movies aren't actually kissing--that kissing scenes are simply filmed so that it looks like the characters are kissing but the actors don't actually kiss. This is, of course, complete bogus and just wrong, but at the time I didn't question it.

Of COURSE it's a camera trick.. they wouldn't make actors kiss. Anyhow, it'd be illegal. You can't kiss someone you're not married to. Or else you go to Hell.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

If J. K. Rowling Had A Death Wish

Okay, literally, like if she had a death wish, she would have done exactly as she did, but with one little addition at the end of the seventh Harry Potter novel (The Deathly Hallows).

The hype about Harry Potter is famed across the world; having been translated into dozens of languages, the books and movies of course all have their own wikipedia and Imdb entries, people dress up as the characters for fun, I may or may not have personally waited hours before midnight on the night of the release of the last book... whatever.

But what if the last book ended slightly differently? Here's how I would have written the end of the novel, were I J.K. Rowling with a death wish:

"Harry then woke abruptly to the sound of Aunt Petunia rapping smartly on the door of the little cupboard under the stairs, where he slept. The dream had seemed so vivid--he recalled that there had been magic, real magic, and that someone in his dream... someone with a funny name had been trying to hurt him. As shafts of light fell into the tiny cupboard, illuminating the spider's webs that clung to the underside of the staircase, the last vestiges of Harry's dream left his mind entirely. He put on his bland gray school uniform and opened the door of the cupboard to face another grueling Monday morning with the Dursleys.

The End."

Friday, October 9, 2009

More Favorites :) You Can Dig

The only reason I have a TV set is so I can watch movies. I absolutely hate television (yes, that includes HBO) and would literally rather be doing *gasp* anything, including shaving a septuagenarian's BACK HAIR than actually sit and watch TV. However, being a person whose values are built almost solely on contradictions, I can't resist movies. Of my many vices, this is the least off-putting. I have loved movies since before I can remember (having known all the words to every Disney movie there was by the time I was 5), and continue to watch movies (on average) at least once a day. These range to all genres, time periods, languages, budgets, whatever. I plan, in the future, to make Top Ten Lists of the best of the main genres, but for the mean time I'll just list some movies that are worth seeing.

First Prize for "Absolutely Horrid But Somehow Incredibly Entertaining" goes to..
"Hackers" (1995)
[runner-up: "Tron" (1982)]

"Best Independent Science Fiction That You'll Watch Nine Times and Still Not Understand" goes to..
"Primer" (2004)
[runner up: "the Prestige" (2006)]

"Best Animated Film" goes to..
"The Lion King" (1994)
[runner up: "Tonari No Totoro"/"My Neighbor Totoro" (1988)]

"Best Foreign Film" goes to..
"Shichinin No Samurai"/"The Seven Samurai" (1954)
[runner up: "Jeux D'enfants"/"Love Me If You Dare" (2003)]

As annoying as it is, I get really irritated when people haven't seen the classics. Especially if those classics were like, in theatres while these people were in high school. Really? You're forty-seven and you haven't seen Star Wars? Do not talk to me. Also don't bother talking to me if you haven't at least seen the Wizard of Oz. I'm really not trying to say that these are the best movies ever made, but it honestly just pisses me off knowing that these same people HAVE seen movies like "Legally Blonde 2" and "Twilight."


Monday, October 5, 2009

Mondays Really Do Suck More Than All The Other Days

So I'm a little bitter. Not over-the-top, spot-me-from-two-miles-away angry or anything, but I do tend to scream at the people in other cars while I'm driving. Recently I noticed this weird pattern that crops up whenever I get cut off en route--an oddly high number of these *ahem* hacking MORONS are driving the Chevy Impala. What is it about this obviously gorgeous, stylish, and all around classy looking car that attracts this group of people? Couldn't tell you. The Impala is, however, a middle-sized, middle-price, reliable sedan that an extraordinary number of idiots are inexplicably drawn to.
The first explanation I came up with is that there are simply a lot of Impalas that live in my area, or that drive on similar routes.

...yeah, well.
This is plausible, but what struck me next is that an impala is a type of gazelle, which makes it extremely related to a deer. What are deer famous for? JUMPING IN FRONT OF CARS.


Sunday, October 4, 2009

Like a Forum, But Without Anyone Else's Input

I enjoy forcing my musical tastes on people just as much as the next girl. Ever have that twitching feeling when you're in someone else's car, and they're listening to screeching lemurs or Tom Waits?

A brand new list of my favorite artists and albums? Just what the internet needs from me and a fantastic way to kick off a shiny new blog. Here goes:

1. Mew- Half The World Is Watching Me (2007)
I couldn't possibly ever get tired of Mew. If you need something diverse but not overwhelming or inaccessible, try it.

2. The Shins- Wincing the Night Away (2007)
3. Sufjan Stevens- Come On Feel The Illinoise! (2005)
4. Ra Ra Riot- The Rhumb Line (2008)
5. The Tallest Man On Earth- Shallow Graves (2008)
6. Neutral Milk Hotel- In The Aeroplane Over The Sea (1998)
7. Silversun Pickups- Swoon (2009)
8. Elliott Smith- Either/Or (1997)
9. Aesop Rock- Labor Days (2001)
10. The Format- Interventions and Lullabies (2003)

Another Thing I Shouldn't Do create a blog, post tremendous amounts of items all at once, ignore it for weeks on end, return, post enormous amounts of items, etc. etc.

Anyhow, since today seems to be of the "Exploring My Habits" variety.. relevantly, I draw on napkins. like this

Unhealthy Addictions of Mine

Sweet webcomics, how much time do I waste reading you?
Typically over two hours a day. Actually.
Between Nutella/tortilla creations/Hawaiian Sweet Bread and Blackberry-ing, somehow I still find time to keep up to date on an astoundingly long list of webcomics and viral sites.

These include (but are not limited to):

Questionable Content
My Life is Average
Texts from Last Night least I don't still religiously watch Ze Frank. I may or may not have forfeited days worth of showers to see every episode.



We've both seen the lists of the top Trip-Hop bands and Air always seems to cap the lists. It's not an alphabetical thing, oh no. I know because i checked*.

*ok so it really might just be an alphabetical thing.
p.s. check the sidebar for examples.