Thursday, September 23, 2010

To The Pregnant Woman Smoking a Cigarette Outside the Football Field

You are scum. You are what is wrong with this world and people like you shouldn't be allowed to breed. You need to re-evaluate what you're doing, and if what I saw is any indication of your personality, you need to re-evaluate your entire effing life. I hate you, and I feel sorry for your unborn child, who is not only stuck with a mother idiotic enough to parade her idiocy to the world, but is also probably now stuck with birth defects. Talk about insult to injury.

Now that I'm done with the insults, the story:
It was my brother's grad ceremony on the field of the local community college. We were all on our way to go get pizza afterward, and right as I walk out I spot this trailer-trash looking woman with a belly that could not be any less pregnant than a good 8 months, smoking a cigarette. If the flip-flops, sweat pants, tank top, badly dyed blond hair in a greasy-looking ponytail, heavily applied makeup and her group of similar-looking cohorts didn't give it away, the way she dragged on that cigarette was in the way that only well-practiced, "I-don't-give-a-shit" assholes can manage.

I gave her what was probably the dirtiest look I have ever given anyone, and her reaction was less than I expected and less than I wanted. I really would have liked to have some excuse to come up to her and try to talk sense to her, but her face gave no sign that she understood what my dirty look meant, let alone that she understood anything outside the concept of '4.95 a pack'.

It's a damn good thing my grandmother wasn't there to see her, because she may have slapped a ho. And my grandmother is not what we call a "frail" old woman.

Interestingly, I really couldn't care less that people smoke. It's a personal choice, and if you like tobacco, go ahead, smoke. It doesn't bother me. What ISN'T your personal choice, however, is screwing your kid's life up before they're even born. You are preventing oxygen from getting to your slimy fetus' brain. You are more than likely giving them a learning disability. You are lowering their IQ. You are making their life harder, and you are probably making yours harder too.

So, idiot woman and anyone who falls into the same category as her, you should know that I and the rest of the sane world are very, very angry with you. Watch out for old ladies swinging their giant handbags (that always seem to be full of bricks) and young 20-ishes with dirty looks, because you are officially on our shit lists.